Mr. and Mrs. Ong

oh yes, i did use my pink pocket knife on Larisa's dress.

Jazzy and her RoRo

apple orchard

a few weeks ago we went to the apple orchard in Nebraska City.

we had a lovely time and oh my goodness, i love apples so much.

"This exile is just like the days of Noah for me:
I promised then that the waters of Noah
would never again flood the earth.
I'm promising now no more anger,
no more dressing you down.
For even if the mountains walk away
and the hills fall to pieces,
My love won't walk away from you,
my covenant commitment of peace won't fall apart."
The God who has compassion on you says so.

Afflicted city, storm-battered, unpitied:
I'm about to rebuild you with stones of turquoise...

Isaiah 54:9-11

so much cuteness

tiny

right before i moved out, beth and i had tiny glasses of wine. because, why not?

harvest

i love harvest.

it feels like there are essential things about life in the Midwest that haven't been lost by technology. farmers still work really hard. they are still at the mercy of the weather. it's still God who does the growing. and then at this magical time of year, they harvest their crops.

i like watching the combines.

i know all about "mombines" thanks to Hudson.

...which might be part of the reason why i like them.

yesterday morning

i had eggs and toast for breakfast.

eggs from my mom's chickens.

and homemade oatmeal wheat bread.

yep, this is where i live.

this day

I shared awhile back that I'm neck deep in a season of rough waters. And yesterday, I woke up sad. There were a lot of tears for some known, and some unknown reasons. It was just one of those days. One of those days when I'm really thankful for a boyfriend who will just hold my hand and let me cry. One of those days I'm thankful for a mom who eat popcorn with me at 10:30 at night, and stop whatever she's doing to talk. One of those days that feels like a battle.

But today was a new day. A gorgeous day. I was walking downtown with a light heart and felt such delight in the warm sun and a cookie and a used bookstore. It was a perfect moment, a tangible love letter from God, as if to say "Ashley, I gave you today. Another day to try again. Enjoy THIS day. Enjoy the good things I have given you today. Don't worry about your tomorrow, or even your yesterday. I am more than capable to handle your future and your heart. So let Me...and today, just rest."

weekends

I just stole this from Bethany Sue.... but too fun not to pass along!

Did you know?? Enjoy your lovely October weekends.

Welcome Home

On Monday I officially moved home with my parents.

I worked like a crazy person all day and was nearly unpacked when...

I got sick. From 7pm to about 3am I was hit HARD with the stomach flu.

And as a thank you gift to my parents, I gave it to them.

So, all 3 of us were home, dehydrated, and miserable (and "wimpy" as my dad would say) on Monday.

What a lovely homecoming. But, at least I'm home.

one more reason to love IKEA

so IKEA has a new cookbook...

http://www.todayandtomorrow.net/2010/09/24/homemade-is-best/

this is funny

{hopefully you can read it...}

Like any good Nebraskan, I'm enamored with the fall.

Autumn in Nebraska is harvest and pumpkins.

Mums blooming and leaves changing colors.

It's Husker football and sweaters.

Cuddling, fire places and hot coffee.

It's windows-open-extra-covers-on-the-bed kind of weather.

I went to the farmers market this morning. I drove all the way down 10th street without hitting a red light. When I pulled into my parking spot, there was still an hour on the meter. I had time to walk around by myself and see the sights and smell the smells. I got a surprise hug from an "amiga para siempre" who I haven't seen in awhile. When I got home I ate my heirloom tomatoes and made pumpkin cookies with candied pecans. The Huskers play Washington in 30 minutes and then I will come home and pack to go to Chicago.

I think this is the kind of day we file under "good".

"If a woman is beautiful in her teens and twenties, it's because God made her that way. But after she's married and the years pass, if she's still beautiful when she's fifty, sixty and seventy years old, it's because of the way her husband treats her." -Bill Bright

I think thats probably why my mom gets more beautiful every year. I have an incredible example of marriage and picture of God's character from my parents.

To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring - these are some of the rewards of the simple life. ~John Burroughs

Rosie and Jas

celebrated the birthday of this little lady the other night. she's pretty neat.

Garage Sale

One of the many benefits of moving in with your parents and then moving to a foreign country is...you get rid of a lot of stuff. Last week and this week have/will be busy with packing and sorting and throwing away (!!!) things. I've already thrown out a lot. And put a lot in the garage sale pile. Which feels amazing. I'm pretty sure between now and December i will have gotten rid of a lot more. Which then of course, begs the question, why do i have so much to begin with? But, it's a chance to start over. To accumulate less stuff.

Also, shameless plug...

Spain Team Garage Sale!

Friday October 1, 10:00 am-6:00 pm

Saturday October 2, 8:00 am-4:00 pm

The location is an empty commercial space in the Highlands... 5501 NW 1st St. (which is North of Superior, to the West of I-80) I tried to paste in a Google map but... I couldn't. so you'll have to Google map it yourself :)

Obviously we want people to come!! and buy things! But we're also looking for people to donate. If you have any questions let me know!

happiness

"How we spend our days is, of course,

how we spend our lives."

-Annie Dillard

happy bachelorette party Larisa :)

The Wall

Life with Jesus, in its essence, is simple. "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." (Matthew 18:25) Fleshed out practically though, is difficult. And the last 18 months for me, give or take, have been difficult. There have been good and wonderful days and moments, yes. But God has seemed far and more often than not, the Word seems like just words, and I feel like my prayers hit the ceiling. What I know to be true in my mind, doesn't change how I feel. And I think this process of preparing to move to Spain has brought some of that to a head recently.

I picked up Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (by Pete Scazzero) and started reading it again. Chapter 6 "The Journey Through the Wall" met me right where I am at.

For most of us the Wall appears through a crisis that turns our world upside down. It comes, perhaps, through [divorce, loss, betrayal, a disillusioning experience, a shattered dream, a deep desire to marry that remains unfulfilled], a dryness or loss of joy in our relationship with God. We question ourselves, God, the church. We discover for the first time that our faith does not appear to "work". We have more questions than answers as the very foundation of our life feels like it is on the line. We don't know where God is, what he is doing, where he is going, how he is getting us there or when this will be over.

On a certain level it is correct to say that Walls come to us in various ways throughout our lifetimes... Unintentionally and unknowingly we fall back into imperfections. Bad habits are like living roots that return. These roots must be dug away and cleared from the garden of our soul... This requires the direct intervention of God.

Without an understanding of the Wall in the journey, however, countless sincere followers of Christ stagnate there and no longer move forward with God's purpose for their lives. Some of us hide behind faith to flee the pain of our lives rather than trust God to transform us through it. We utter platitudes like "God uses all things for good". We smile and sing contemporary praise songs about our victory in Jesus. We don't curse or get bitter toward God. We keep it together to demonstrate to the weaker members of the body and the watching world that our faith is solid and strong... [but] emotionally healthy faith admits the following:

• I am bewildered
• I don't know what God is doing right now
• I am hurt
• I am angry
• Yes, this is a mystery
• I am very sad right now
• O God, why have you forsaken me?

How do we know we are in "the dark night"? Our good feelings of God's presence evaporate. We feel the door of heaven has been shut as we pray. Darkness, helplessness, weariness, a sense of failure or defeat, barrenness, emptiness, dryness descend upon us. The Christian disciplines that have served us up to this time "no longer work". We can't see what God is doing and we see little visible fruit in our lives.

St. John (of the Cross) wrote: "[God] is purging the soul, annihilating it, emptying it or consuming in it all of the affections and imperfect habits which it has contracted its whole life... These are deeply rooted in the substance of the soul... At the same time, it is God who is...working here in the soul."

The critical issue on the journey with God is not "Am I happy?" but "Am I free? Am I growing in the freedom God gave me?" The Wall, more than anything else, cuts off our attachments to who we think we ought to be, or who we falsely think we are. Layers of our counterfeit self are shed. Something truer, that is Christ in and through us, slowly emerges.

I am so very much in process here, and not an easy one. Parts of myself, some of my dreams and deep desires have to die. My heart resonates with the fact that "God is purging the soul...of the affections and imperfect habits..." And that takes time, and tears, and the determination to believe that not matter how I feel, the best thing is that I go straight through it, and the One who is leading me is the One who give me His life in return. He is the One who redeems and restores, but first He must refine.

You Will Be OK, I Promise.

Sometimes I feel the way I think you feel right now.
I used to feel it pretty often.
It felt like all the time.
But now, I look back at all the really bad days
and I just can’t help but smile
at all the great days in between

And I know it doesn’t make a difference

or make anything better right now

Just know that things do get better

They always do

They have to

If for no other reason than to give us some place real high to fall from
Some place real high up.
Some place to bounce back to.
Because we do bounce back.

So stand up and go outside

And feel the warm sun on your face.

-Eric Victorino

bedtime

“People, even more than things,

have to be restored, renewed, revived,

reclaimed, and redeemed;

never throw out anyone.”

—Audrey Hepburn

the bahama-mama's

when Joy was home, ALL SEVEN OF US got together, which was somewhat miraculous. and i'm not sure when we'll all be together again like this. {when we take our cruise to the Bahamas...as empty-nest, elderly, retirees...but seriously...}

i love the laughter and happiness there is when we're together. and also how easy it is. no mater how long it's been, we can just pick up where we left off.

5 of the 7 of us have lived together at some point.

these girls have been a huge part of my life and growth for the past 10 years {and in Carrie's case...oh boy...15 years?}

i am so thankful.

adventures in gardening

in case you missed it, i love the garden. it has been a fun project and... since it's all a bit trial and error we've had some funny moments. including this little guy. he was in my seed tray...which i apparently got a little mixed up because when we planted it i thought it was a cucumber. clearly it is not. and when it was small and round and green and striped... i thought "oh! watermelon!"

wrong again. cantaloupe. :)

yesterday

this was, more or less, my {work} day yesterday...

amiah said to me "ash do you want some help? i could shuffle the corn! i'm really good at shuffling corn!" :) so she shucked about half the corn until she was tired of having corn hairs all over her.

also, we snapped beans, made waffles and enjoyed being home

sometimes {all the time?} i think i'm a little crazy to leave this.

the homestead

i love being at my mom and dad's.

it's kind of weird to think about living there again soon...maybe because it makes leaving seem so real. so final.

i will miss my family and my home so much in Spain.

{thanksgiving 2009}

{summer 2010... amazing right??}

this is not a good picture of me. or Blake. like at all.

but for some reason, i love it.

pockets

i have the cutest friends.

and i love when we wear pocket skirts

:)