Gary Oldman and Colin Firth- all the awards for being handsome (and amazing).
Angelina Jolie- tie between the "narcissistic thigh" award, the "most in need of a cheeseburger" award, or, the likely win, the "just because you're an actress doesn't mean you have good stage presence" award.
Bradley Cooper- the "welcome to the elite club of men I find attractive in a mustache" award.
Jennifer Lopez- the "I'm pretty sure your nipple was showing a little bit on national television for several minutes" award.
Cameron Diaz- the "you're not that funny and a little irrelevant" award.
Tim Gunn- the award for my favorite pre-game quote of the night, saying that standing next to Brad Pitt in his tux made him feel "sartorially sloppy."
Emma Stone and Robert Downey Jr.- all the awards for being the best presenters.
Chris Rock- the "please let him host next year" award.
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That's all I have for now. Any awards YOU would add?