community

the other day i saw three people sitting at a table outside a restaurant engaged in conversation over dinner... two of them were leaned forward enjoying conversation, but the third woman's posture bothered me. she was turned away a bit, arms crossed and the tone of her voice as i walked by oozed with an air of "please notice how cool i look here", as if remaining aloof makes you cool. it bothered me because i recognized myself in that. we all do it sometimes. when we feel insecure or lazy... we just want to put people off a little, make them think we're more awesome than we really are in lieu of actually having to engage in meaningful relating.

and then i started to wonder, why do we do that? we live relatively short lives, with even shorter amounts of time to relate to each other... why do we waste the time we DO have? why do we let our insecurities get in the way of real relating the way God intended for us to relate?

I just finished reading "Becoming a True Spiritual Community" by Larry Crabb (which is a fantastic and worthwhile read) He gives a great illustration at the beginning of the book which one book reviewer summarized this way: "The relationships among believers often can be compared to a series of rocking chairs on a front porch lined up side by side. Though every seat may be filled and cordial dialogue exchanged, the real hunger in people’s hearts is to have the chairs placed in a circle facing each other. In the same way, we long for our souls to be turned toward each other." (margaret oines)

ultimately real community and relating on that heart level can only happen when we relate not out of our insecurities but out of our security in who we are in Christ. when my position in Him is secure, i no longer care what you think of me and i'm free to be honest and vulnerable and share my stuff. i have a few people who i relate to like this, but what if this was the standard? what if, as the church, we worked to related to each other from the Spirit all the time? how incredible and dynamic and world-changing would the church be if we could learn to do this better?

its hard, and risky... but so worth it.