I have a good feeling about 2011. Which also will be the year in which I am 26 and I have good feelings about that too. :) This is the year I move to Madrid (the MONTH I move to Madrid actually...) and that will be the start of a whole new life, which will be difficult to be sure, but also amazing. I have a feeling that a year from now I will look back (once the smoke has cleared from the world ending in 2012 and the zombie attacks etc, etc.) and realize I'm a very different person than the 2011 me.
This 2010 year has been one of the best and one of the hardest years of my life. It was a year of perpetual transition, life as I knew it, constantly changing. Good things started and good things ended, I grew a garden, I spent time with people I love, made memories with the kids, started blogging (!), I dealt with some very private kinds of loss, and God stretched me to to a breaking point. I'm thankful for a God who interferes. A God who gets His hands dirty in the messes of our lives, who cares about my holiness and the choices I make.
My dearest best friend emailed me these thoughts a few weeks ago, which are actually born out of a year of processing through some very difficult things together:
"Most times I don't even know what to pray anymore but when I get on my face like this, the only thing that comes to mind is "You are God and I am not." I guess maybe that's the point. But I think that's maybe why I cried for you and for me. I know ultimately that that is the struggle He is working out in us--trying to rid us of those urges to be our own god--urges I don't even know are there half the time. He wants us to be better than what we are, glorify Him more than we are. But at the same time, [it] reminded me that He is watching us struggle and He longs for us to be more than what we've set out for and that requires struggle and pain and that pains Him too. Quite simply: He cares about our pain. So even though I know He knows it's good for us, I also feel very assured that He can't wait for the day to make us jump up and down after this winter season. I believe He wants that. He just wants other things along with that."
I liked all of this. Which is maybe vain but I like you and your thoughts, too. I just realized you will spend NYE (which I hate calling it that almost as much as GBR) 2011 in the Pla-tha Mayor! or most deffo somewhere really neat.
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